Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize