just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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