my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
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