so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
whose ass print is on the piano?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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