I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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