Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
