i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
