I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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