i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
