i will never coherently bang her
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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