is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
