Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
