im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
