I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
