y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
