i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
