I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
