i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
