it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
