"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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