I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
