soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
