Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
