The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
