She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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