I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
