Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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