a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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