drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
