Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
