I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
