what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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