Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize