Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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