jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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