google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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