when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
