Your dad touched me again.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
