I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
