you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
