do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
