do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just pee around me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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