Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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