she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
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