i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
