Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dignity is for republicans.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
