it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
