I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize