I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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