They should really pass out barf bags in church
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
