seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
