we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
