i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
