Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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