I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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