Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
