that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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